Dare to Be Different: Everybody Is Good at Something
We spend so much of our lives trying to fit in, and so little of it learning to dare to be different. We compare ourselves with people who seem more successful, more beautiful, stronger, smarter, quicker, richer, or simply more confident.
And when we become parents, the comparison often starts all over again.
Is my child keeping up? Is he doing as well as the others?
Why is she not like her classmates? Why can’t he just behave like everyone else?
We want our children to be happy, but we also want them to fit into the world around them.
Perhaps because being different can feel uncomfortable.
It takes a strong soul to stand apart from the crowd.
And an even stronger one to enjoy it.
The children who don’t fit the mould
In education, there is often an unspoken ideal of what a “good student” looks like.
A child who listens. A child who learns at the expected pace.
A child who sits quietly, follows instructions and performs well in tests.
But what happens to the child who doesn’t?
At TCDF’s Special School for Special Students, many of the children arrive after struggling in mainstream education. Some have physical disabilities. Some have learning difficulties. Some have faced health problems or traumatising family circumstances.
And many arrive carrying something that is much harder to see.
They have lost confidence.
Some have spent years being compared with children who learn differently from them. Some have been labelled difficult, naughty or unable to learn. Eventually, some stop believing in themselves.
When they arrive at our school, one of the first things we try to do is very simple:
We stop asking them to be like everybody else. Instead, we ask:
Who are you? What do you enjoy? What are you good at? What makes you curious?
What can you contribute?
It sounds simple. But sometimes, it is the beginning of everything.
We all have our own way of being good and special.
One child may be wonderful with animals. Another may be able to make something beautiful with their hands. One may remember every detail of how a machine works.
Another may be the person who notices when somebody else is sad.
Someone may be a natural cook. Someone else may be a gardener, a storyteller, a builder or a teacher. These abilities do not always appear on a school report. But they matter.
Perhaps we have become too accustomed to measuring children by the things that are easiest to measure. Grades. Speed. Memory. Competition. But life is much bigger than a test.
Some of the most valuable people in our communities are not necessarily the people who were top of their class. They are the people who can see an opportunity where others see a problem.
The people who make something out of nothing.
The people who bring people together.
The people who think differently.
The people who simply refuse to accept that something cannot be done.
Difference is where new ideas begin
Think about almost every meaningful change in the world. Someone questioned the usual way of doing things. Someone saw a possibility where others saw a limitation. Someone was willing to try something different. That is why I believe we should be careful about teaching children that fitting in is always the goal.
We need children who can cooperate, of course. But we also need children who can think independently. Children who can ask questions. Children who can imagine something that does not yet exist. Children who are brave enough to say, “What if we tried it another way?”
Difference can be uncomfortable. But difference is also where creativity begins.
What if we stopped asking, “What’s wrong?”
This is something I have learned through working with our students. When a child struggles, our first instinct can be to ask: What is wrong? Why can’t they do what everyone else can do?
Why are they behaving like this?
But perhaps a more useful question is:
What are they good at? That change in perspective can be enormous.
At TCDF, our education is built around the individual child. We combine learning with practical skills, nature, creativity and everyday life. Our students learn on our campus, in our gardens, on the farm and through activities that allow them to discover abilities that may never have been visible in a conventional classroom.
And something special happens when a child discovers that they are good at something
They stand a little taller.
They begin to participate.
They start to trust.
They begin to imagine a future.
That is not just education.
That is confidence.
Perhaps we should ask ourselves the same questions. This is not only a lesson for children with special needs. It is something I think all of us could ask ourselves.
As parents. As partners. As friends. As colleagues. As entrepreneurs. As people who have chosen to build a life in another country.
We spend an extraordinary amount of energy trying to become what we think we are supposed to be. Perhaps there is another way. Instead of asking, How do I compare with everyone else?
What if we asked: What do I like? What am I good at? How can that be shared? How can I expand my impact? The answers may surprise us.
Because being good at something does not necessarily mean being the best.
It means finding something that feels natural to you, something that gives you energy, something that you can offer to other people.
It could be running a successful business. It could be making your team feel valued.
It could be creating beautiful spaces. It could be cooking for friends. It could be mentoring a young person. It could be growing vegetables.
It could simply be making someone feel that they matter.
Perhaps this is also why TCDF itself has never quite followed a standard model
We work in rural Thailand, where circumstances are very different from those in expat communities and cities with access to public services and care.
We combine education, healthcare, vocational skills, nature and community.
Our students learn through doing. Our circular community campus is a living classroom.
We believe in long-term relationships rather than donation days and quick interventions.
And we believe that a child should not have to become somebody else in order to succeed.
They should have the opportunity to discover who they already are.
That takes courage.
For a child, it may mean daring to be different from their classmates.
For a parent, it may mean accepting that their child’s path will not look like everyone else’s.
And perhaps for all of us, it means being brave enough to stop measuring our lives against somebody else’s.
Because the world does not need more people trying to be the same
It needs people who know what they can contribute.
People who see possibilities. People who create. People who dare to do things differently. People who care.
And somewhere inside every child, and, if we are honest, every adult, is something they are good at. Sometimes they just need the space to discover it.
And someone who believes in them while they do.
Learn more and consider supporting TCDF’s Special School for special needs children: thaichilddevelopment.org/education/specialneedsschooling
Rosalie (Roos) Tieges is the founder of the Thai Child Development Foundation (TCDF) and has worked with children in rural Thailand for more than twenty years. TCDF supports education, healthcare and sustainable community development in rural communities. Learn more about TCDF’s work, supporting or how to support a child’s education.
